Canyoneroooooo

The Canyonero as any Simpon's fan knows is the SUV that Homer bought, without knowing it was the female centric F-Series model, and ended up giving to his wife Marge. I just got back from lunch at the little shopping center down the road and there were plenty of HUGE SUV's and mega pickups to be seen. For some people I can understand the need. If you have kids, sure I can definitely see the benefit. Plenty of other careers aside from parent also call for a vehicle of this size. But I know that for every person with a real need for such a vehicle there is some turkey who just wants one because its a big status symbol of some kind.

No matter what the reason for having these rolling battleships is, I don't care. I can get along fine with them. As long as the person behind the wheel can drive and park the damn thing. I swear half of the people behind the wheels of these things don't have a good bearing on where there vehicle is and heaven help any car, person, tree or curb that happens to be in the way.

A few months ago, my wife and I watched as a woman tried to park a vehicle that might as well have been the fictious Canyonero. The thing was bigger then some small buses. For some reason, instead of realizing her abilities with the vehicle and parking farther out where she had room to move, she decided to back into a tight little corner space. It must have taken her 15 minutes before she realized it wasn't happening. Now the vehicle was full of kids, must have been 8 of them. So she obviously needed something to take her own version of the Van Trap family around town. But honestly I think another license classification needs to be made for people who want to drive these things.

I'll finish this entry out with lyrics to one of my favorite jingles to come from the Simpons:

Can you name the truck with four wheel drive,
smells like a steak and seats thirty-five..

Canyonero! Canyonero!

Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down,
It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown!

Canyonero! (Yah!) Canyonero!
[Krusty:] Hey Hey

The Federal Highway comission has ruled the
Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving.

Canyonero!

12 yards long, 2 lanes wide,
65 tons of American Pride!

Canyonero! Canyonero!

Top of the line in utility sports,
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!

Canyonero! Canyonero! (Yah!)

She blinds everybody with her super high beams,
She's a squirrel crushing, deer smacking, driving machine!

Canyonero!-oh woah, Canyonero! (Yah!)

Drive Canyonero!

Woah Canyonero!

Woah!